Hi Linda:

The government has great responsibility and this should never be forgotten nor discounted, but our government is dysfunctional at best and criminal at its worst. Yet, who's responsible for what the government has become? As we have, ostensibly, a government of the people, yes, society is responsible. In addition to our duties as citizens in a democracy, we must remember and take very seriously our shared obligations to one another. Yet, society is as faceless as government and as difficult to pin down and shake a finger at, isn't it?

You want someone tangible to blame, and you name the family -- especially parents -- as the main culprits in this problem. You give us that old saw of the stern Protestant, "Spare ye not the rod lest ye spoil the child" -- apparently in all sincerity -- even as you loudly proclaim, "The violence stops at home!" Indeed. You further suggest that parents are solely responsible for disciplining, protecting, nurturing, educating, and inspiring their children whatever the circumstances. Yes, I could agree with much of this, in a perfect, middle-class, dream world. Yet, ever more families, especially in inner cities, are fractured and weak and many have been descending into the grim gutters of society for generations. Parental lessons in ethics and morality, traditionally passed down to children in functioning family and home environments have long been lost. With the loss of traditional family-centered home environments there is little hope for the fairy tale parenting you describe, rod or no rod. So, if a safe and nurturing home environment is not available, who is responsible?

Increasingly, many parents have little education and no parenting skills, may have had negative experiences growing up themselves, or perhaps even have developed serious psychological-emotional pathologies. "Parents", often means just one mother struggling for survival for herself and her kids and, if she is fortunate enough to have work, may be working two jobs for 12 or more hours a day, yet with an income that doesn't cover the basics for survival. Depending on her particular history and situation, some of these seriously embattled mothers might see no choice but to sell their bodies or deal drugs to make the bitter ends meet, or may choose to associate with a strong but potentially harmful male figure in the community in order to obtain a feeling of security in her life. All of these, and much more than I can name here are daily realities for many of the families and parents you feel should shoulder the entire responsibility for society's lost children.

Linda, however emotionally sincere you may be, you haven't got a clue how the disenfranchised underclasses must live. Try volunteering in an inner city neighborhood for awhile. If you last a year -- even a few months -- I'll be more open to what you might have to say. As you wrote, "This problem is happening everywhere in America," so there should be no problem finding a neighborhood in need of your help. Till then, enjoy your middle-class fantasy world while you still have it.

Well, this blog post is quickly turning into an essay. I've had to trim it to a fraction of what I've written, which was hard because there truly is so much more to this story. I feel this short bit raises too many questions that are left unanswered, but it can't be helped: time to post!

Ta-ta! William