A Farewell Letter to the Greatest Education President Ever
Published January 18, 2009 @ 06:13PM PT
Dear President Bush,
Don't let that liberal media get you down with their polls. As one of the 17% of Americans who knows you were a great president - history (and your heavenly reward!) will prove the "Negative Nellies" wrong - I just want to say "Thank you!" for all the great work.
Because of your support for abstinence-only sex education, my teenage daughter and son are still virgins. As for the mean-spirited gossip around town that they've been playing games with their non-virginal zones in ways that make Sodom seem like Sunday School, well, let me tell you that they're just not true - my daughter's walk is that way from too much horseback-riding. She swore to that while we slow-danced at our Purity Ball last week. (And I double-darn guarantee you that Ball was a heck of a lot more fun than Barack Hussein Obama's inaugural ball will be. You should come next year, and bring your own lovely daughters!) Likewise, those little blemishes on their mouths and other parts of their pure bodies are just cold sores and pimples. That school nurse who said otherwise, and who showed me that study about how abstinence-only education is causing kids to increase in both sin and sickness? She can stick her liberal science where the sun don't shine.
Speaking of "science," I also want to thank you for putting those pesky, elitist, know-it-all "scientists" in their place over the last eight years. You and me both know that evolution is just a "theory," and that no matter how much some of us may look like monkeys, the Good Book says otherwise right there on page 2 of "Genesis" in God's own red, white, and blue English. Same with that so-called "global warming." You were right to silence those government scientists who drank the Al Gore kool-aid. Heck, it doesn't take a genius to figure out that it's hotter these days because the population boom down in Hell. (More sinners, more fires. Heat rises. Boom: global warming. It's basic physics.) Anyway, thanks to you, my children know better than to believe all this "scientific research."
(You should see my kids, whenever "global warming" comes up, imitate your "Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter!" joke at your last G8 Summit. They do the fist-jab as they say it as perfectly as you did in front of all those world leaders. Thank you for setting that example for the young, Sir!)
Finally, I want to thank you for improving my children's reading and math skills. I can't believe how good they have become at choosing the right bubbles on all those state tests they've been taking. Those Nellies who say that those reading tests don't measure literacy should come to my house and watch my son and daughter read classics like Answers in Genesis, The Bell Curve, and Mein Kampf. I grill them after every chapter with comprehension questions, and they're 100% right every time. They understand the genius of these great works and argue their points against liberals who try to debate them with a force that makes this father proud. (As for math, they're better at calculating how much my savings have shrunk than I am!)
Mr. President, I could say much more, but I think I'll stop here. God bless you, Sir, for all you've done in your service to America - and God save us from the years of liberal tyranny we face when you're gone.
Sincerely,
Wilber D. Snipes III
Crawford, Texas
P.S. Congratulations on the postage stamp! I was in a fraternity too, and let me tell you, I surely appreciate your whacky way of telling the liberals where to get off!!!
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Comments (24)
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Author
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Clay is an American high school Humanities teacher, technology coach, and Apple Distinguished Educator who has taught for the last eight years in Asian international schools. According to law, he's married to his wife. According to his wife, he's married to his Mac.
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Clay - I really like your new site, it provides much more provocative and thought provoking ideas on ideas on education. It seems as though you have more freedom now than you did previously when discussing "interesting" or slippery slope entries. Maybe I am just reading them differently, now that I have joined the elitist bunch.
I have thought about doing a blog that highlights how intelligence and good research were a negative in schools over the past 8 years and how excellence wasn't appreciated. That everyone needed to be in the "norm". But I don't have the skill to express how expertise and excellence were not expected in schools from students or teachers due to focusing on "testing. I thought with your way with words, it would be a subject you might be able to tackle and really sink your teeth into.
Posted by Harold Shaw on 01/18/2009 @ 07:49PM PT
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tried to post before and lost it!
kudos for your article.(the picture was priceless) Hopefully we can stop producing a generation of parrots,who learn only for the test and forget everything afterward.
I was a Montessori teacher and later became a music therapist.The work I do demands not following a set plan,but adapting the the client I am working with.Kids are naturally curious,and it is the teachers job to make learning interesting by suing all the senses in learning and by having the kids be an active part of the learning process.Kid learn by doing,not just by listening to lectures or working in workbooks.
Now that we finally have a president who values learning for the right reasons( to be a valued contributor to society) THings are going to change,I hope.Great satire,Wilbur!!
Posted by Heather Koelle on 01/19/2009 @ 08:26AM PT
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The photo of Bush displayed on this post isn't appropriate. Can we get past the negative and work together for a brighter future?
"A house divided against itself can not stand"
Posted by Eric Needle on 01/19/2009 @ 09:06AM PT
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Eric, I agree but if You read much of this site, You find most of their "tolerance" for different schools of thought only applies to different ways of agreeing with them. Bush was no conservative. He raised significantly every single category of social spending, created new categories, (federal money for libraries, billions on aids treatment and prevention). He stopped ANWR drilling, He increased the size of government! I know why I'm mad at him! Why are liberals mad at one of their own?
Posted by Charlie Reed on 01/19/2009 @ 12:23PM PT
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The thing is, I join change.org... click cause, education... and see an image of Bush flipping me off.
I guess if that's what the site is trying to project... it just doesn't seem to offer any change -- or hope.
Posted by Eric Needle on 01/19/2009 @ 12:36PM PT
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I agree Eric. I have been told many of my writings are negative and they show little cause for hope. I disagree. George W. Bush did bring education to the forefront. He actually came up with a program that hoped to improve education. The problem is too many educational beaurocracies got in the way, each having their own interests. I pray the new administration will have the children in mind instead of how well the beaurocrats can do.
Posted by James Fabiano on 01/19/2009 @ 12:40PM PT
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"He actually came up with a program that hoped to improve education."
Indeed, but actually it's more like the execution and follow up accountability <i>sucked.</i> Ignorance and lack of accountability is still something to hold against elected officials if they display it.
History is the supreme study of the past in which to not repeat past mistakes. Idly ignoring Bush's failures and or accomplishments (few) is to mean the death to not counter or improve existing policies.
To fix a problem it must first be viewed, then acted upon. Perhaps a plan comes in somewhere, but I must agree with Clay's letter, but instead I'd mail it to <b>Obama</b> for the sake of giving him a <a href="http://commonaction.blogspot.com/2008/11/mike-males-will-obama-betray-youth.html">fair warning....</a>
With that in mind, let's not look to the future blindly. Let's not candy coat the past. And let's act on the present. <i>That seems wiser than a leap of fate(no, not faith.) anyways.</i>
Posted by Dillon Decicio on 01/19/2009 @ 01:50PM PT
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@Harold, It's nice to see you here, and your suggestion is insightful. I think it will percolate to the surface in posts here as we go.
@Heather, I'm glad you enjoyed Wilber's letter. I'm also glad you got the point of his testimony about how great his children read now, based on their high-stakes test performance. I hope he learns reading is much more than unquestioningly comprehending what is read. That way totalitarianism lies.
@Eric, Sorry you don't appreciate the satire. The point of satire is to highlight the "inappropriate" and condemn it with (attempted) humor, and it rarely works for everybody. Re: the finger, it was indeed inappropriate of President Bush to think it was a cute thing to do on camera. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YVynnbx1Xsc In one sense, the image is a way of expressing that. We agree that Bush was inappropriate in that gesture.
As for coming together, I'll offer this: I find it hard to forgive and forget past outrages and/or crimes, and don't think it's a wise path for justice to let law-breakers off the hook. (And constitutional lawyer Glenn Greenwald outlines some of many criminal actions of the Bush-Cheney administration in this interview with Bill Moyers: http://www.pbs.org/moyers/journal/12122008/transcript1.html )
Besides the crimes Greenwald mentions, there are the outrages Wilber outlined in his letter: a sex (non-) education agenda that resulted in more STD's and teen confusion than was necessary; an anti-science stance that set science literacy back decades, and undermined the authority of science to have its solutions taken seriously by the general public; and a degradation of the meaning of the word "reading" to mere comprehension of text.
So let's get past the picture of the finger (and really, we're all adults here, so this shouldn't send us into shock), and focus on the substance of the letter itself.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/19/2009 @ 02:26PM PT
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Clay what is hard to get past is that Your satire paints conservatives as ignorant clods. Why should anyone listen to your thoughts when You so easily dismiss half the nation as being idiots? Heroes to the conservative movement are Thomas Jefferson, John Locke, Ben Franklin,Abe Lincoln. Are You so high and mighty that You think Yourself above any meaningful dialogue?
Posted by Charlie Reed on 01/19/2009 @ 04:57PM PT
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@Charlie, I don't think Wilber is representative of classic Conservatism (which was rationalist, unlike Wilber, and very pro-science and pro-intellect).
Most conservatives worth the title are as aghast at was has happened to the American Right as I am.
You're still not addressing the three ideas in the post: sex education, science, and reading literacy. How can we dialogue until you do?
And I didn't dismiss half the nation. Maybe the 17% who say Bush was "very good" or "great" in that poll, granted.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/19/2009 @ 05:21PM PT
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I was excited by the announcement of an educational blog associated with change.org that could not only capture the possibility of professional educators discussing solutions but also modeling the kind of inclusion that will be transformative. Unfortunately, this blog is degenerating into an ideological and absolutist diatribe.
Is this "Clay's opinions.edu" or truly a site that works to foster and generate discussions about solutions? A wise person once told me to watch for those who often say "yes, but". Like, "I agree with you, but". This wise person told me that almost always to ignore eveything that follows the "but". When I read your exchanges, like "most conservatives worth the title are as aghast at what has happened...", all I see is judgment. Who deemed you the arbiter of who is worthy of being a conservative?
I would like to see more discussions that follow a pattern of collaboration. That starts with a spirit of collaboration that has to be modeled.
Posted by Brandt Robinson on 01/19/2009 @ 06:15PM PT
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@Brandt,
A snippet from good read on the crisis of contemporary American conservatism:
"But what we see here is a deep split between parts of the conservative elite and much of the rank and file. For years, many of the elite conservatives were happy to harvest the votes of devout Christians and gun owners by waging a phony class war against "liberal elitists" and "leftist intellectuals." Suddenly, the conservative writers are discovering that the very anti-intellectualism their side courted and encouraged has begun to consume their movement. The cause of Edmund Burke, Leo Strauss, Robert Nisbet and William F. Buckley Jr. is now in the hands of Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity -- and Sarah Palin. Reason has been overwhelmed by propaganda, ideas by slogans, learned manifestoes by direct-mail hit pieces."You can read more here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2008/10/23/AR2008102302869.html?hpid=opinionsbox1
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/19/2009 @ 06:38PM PT
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@Brandt, one last question: this "degeneration" you note suggests a pattern of posts. Most of your comments to other posts (most of them opinionated too) were positive. Are the attacks regarding this one because you disagree?
And at least give me credit for repeatedly requesting that you and the others disagree with the ideas here, instead of attacking me for voicing them. That's the door to the dialogue and collaboration so many in this thread are saying they want.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/19/2009 @ 06:53PM PT
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@Brandt, Sorry, but your comment keeps echoing.
You're a teacher, like me, and a teacher-trainer. So when you quote "a very wise person" as the authority for what to listen to, and what not to listen to; and when you fault me for exercising independent critical judgment, I just have to ask: isn't our job as teachers to honor critical thinking, and if we disagree with it, to challenge it with more critical thinking?
If you think the answer is "yes," then explain to me what I'm missing when I voice discomfort with your decision not to listen because some authority in your past (teacher? preacher? parent?) told you not to - and with your decision to attack me for exercising my own critical judgment (along with a bit of satirical creativity) in this post.
Teacher to teacher, I find that disturbing. I encourage my students to disagree with me and every other authority, if it doesn't satisfy their own judgment. I don't attack them for articulating their ideas. And if I disagree with those ideas, I articulate that disagreement.
Isn't that what teachers _should_ do - and _model_?
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/19/2009 @ 07:11PM PT
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Locke: "I think their memories should be employ'd, but not in learning by rote whole pages out of books, which, the lesson being once said, and that task over, are delivered up again to oblivion and neglected for ever."
Jefferson: "I hold it that a little rebellion now and then is a good thing, and as necessary in the political world as storms in the physical."
Franklin: "They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety."
Lincoln, maybe.
Posted by Lisa Lane on 01/19/2009 @ 08:09PM PT
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Eric and any others who find the post or picture innapropriate,
You say you want to get past the negative and work towards a brighter future. Well, so do I. Actually, I want one where education, of high quality and suited to the students participating it, is freely available, not one where teachers teach to standardised tests modeled after some corporation's views on what makes a successful school. I want a future where my country's young people aren't blowing up the young people of other countries in order to enforce whatever economic or political model we see fit. I want a future where companies are not given blank checks while our communities can't fund art programs, and where our working people aren't shoved out of their homes and onto the street.
In short: the future I want is the exact opposite of the present we have. Unless we try to learn from the current mess and pick it apart and see how it (doesn't) work, unless we condemn it, and unless we mock those who instituted it, so as to remove their power and their regality, how the heck are we going to bring about real change? We can't avoid making the same grave mistakes unless we know what they are.
Don't be concern trolls. If you disagree, make some good, well reasoned points. Legitimate criticsms are fine, and I know that Clay encourages them; saying that a picture mocking a war criminal, merely by displaying that war criminal's own actions, is innapropriate seems to be pretty weak.
I reccomend that everyone sits down with a big bowl of popcorn and watches Duck Soup.
Posted by SP Greenlaw on 01/19/2009 @ 08:19PM PT
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Clay, I don't think Your article was really about these subjects at all, but my stands are-- Re: sex ed, abstinence first and foremost, but definitely not only. re: science, all theories and even credible hypothesis should be studied. Re: literacy, I have read The Bell Curve and Mein Kamph. Both should be part of any inquisitive minds' reading list. The first rather dry and too long, full of stats and obvious facts (Who doesn't know intelligence is hereditary?) It does not attack any race, as a rabid press tried to imply, in fact the author states that there is too little difference in test scores between races to be even sure that the difference was not cultural. There are idiots and geniuses in every race. Mein Kamph I read twice, trying to understand what made him tick, and how He fooled a nation of some of the most intelligent people on earth. Re: the real subject at hand: I am sure President Bush made a lot of mistakes, It was a tough 8 years. Instead of trashing a fellow human beings' efforts, how rolling up our sleeves and finding a different solution. Perhaps there even some parts of His plan You liked?
Posted by Charlie Reed on 01/20/2009 @ 04:35AM PT
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Clay, great post. Keep those middle fingers coming!
Posted by Charles Lenchner on 01/20/2009 @ 08:26AM PT
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I just arrived on this site and read your article and the various discussions. As a long time educator, I find all national programs, whether governmental, NEA, of Schools of Education, usually miss the point of real education. As long as there are hundreds of local school boards (or whatever they are called) that can hire and fire the chief educator, i.e. superintendent, principal, etc. you are going to have inherent educational differences. I DO NOT ADVOCATE NATIONALIZING EDUCATION. Until we can really professionalize teaching and have education as a higher priorty and thus attrack the best and the brightest, we will not ever solve our primary and secondary probems. By the way we can throw billions at a failed banking and credit system, but we withhold funds from our public schools. What a message!
Posted by Kenneth Ehrenthal on 01/20/2009 @ 02:03PM PT
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My apologies. I guess I was just having a bad day, which is rare for me. What you are doing is far more important than the occasioanal tone or opinion that might rankle someone. I am generally a very positive and optimisitc person. I also appreciate the dissemination of information, especially those who take the time to do it, which is modeling we all could use from time to time.
I come at this from the point of view of teaching and learning and am passionate about sharing things professional educators are doing every day, in spite of critical hardships.
However, I know that the spectrum of education is vast and all "shades" of that spectrum are contextually just as important.
Again, my apologies and thanks for taking the time to respond.
Brandt Robinson
Posted by Brandt Robinson on 01/20/2009 @ 07:10PM PT
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@Kenneth, (Why do I want to offer my condolences after reading you scanned so many entries in one sitting? ;-) -- Re: the pitfalls of nationalizing education....as a veteran of that woefully inefficient monolith we call the US Army, I hear you. But (of _course_ there's a but) I can't help but think that a) there may be different models of 'nationalizing' worth envisioning or adapting; b) State-run education seems full of its own pitfalls (imagine moving your kid from one state to another, with totally unaligned standards, and watching that kid either be too behind or too ahead for the new school to be worth the time); c) science and math, at least, seem worth a nationalization discussion (especially to keep creationists in Texas or other states from rolling their children's minds boldly into the Middle Ages). But no doubt it's gnarly. (But no doubt, too, a large number of other nations do it.)
Re: teacher recruitment/higher pay: that seems the most obvious long-term fix. Poor teachers from the past who went into teaching from the _middle_ or _bottom_ of their class would still remain until retirement, I guess, but the next gen and onward would be higher quality.
As for boards? Like I said elsewhere (and this isn't original, though it's also not an issue when it should be), the fact that ignoramuses with no qualifications can run for school boards is absurd. So I'm with you there too. Is it even plausible to ask about possibilities for reforming the candidacy qualifications for school boards?
Oops. Gotta go. CNN's talking about giving my left arm to Citigroup. The government says I'll still have my right arm to teach with, so it's a reasonable sacrifice.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/20/2009 @ 07:51PM PT
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@Brandt,
Amen to the amends.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/20/2009 @ 07:54PM PT
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@Charlie, I hope you follow that link on abstinence-only education's effects on the young in this post. As for the rest, @spgreenlaw's comment says it pretty well.
Posted by Clay Burell on 01/20/2009 @ 08:00PM PT
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Clay, after this, I will get on your link, but if You will look back, you will note that I am not an advocate of abstinence only education. I follow the same philosophy as G.W. on this. Emphasize that abstinence is the only 100% protection, but teach condom use and others also. Abstinence has benefits that reach beyond disease/pregnancy prevention. Children are usually not emotionally prepared for all the pitfalls of sex.
Posted by Charlie Reed on 01/21/2009 @ 09:35AM PT
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